What Happens When You Don't Cum

The following is my anecdotal experiences with nofap and sexual abstinence. The following are scenarios and phenomenon that I personally experienced.

Everything I did was done in combination with diet, exercise and Vitamin D supplementation.

Anxiety and Energy

The biggest differences between jerking off everyday and not come down to two things.

Anxiety

After quitting orgasm-ing on a daily basis all of my social anxiety disappeared. This anxiety plagued me my entire life. I felt extreme stress around people I didn’t know. Especially groups of men. This stress was so severe I once had a panic attack at a music festival and was send to the hospital. In an environment where we were forced to interact (i.e. school / work) I would slowly become more comfortable and was able to make friends. But these environments are rare in adult life.

In high school, I gained friends in my freshmen class and we were really close. After we became older and started becoming men, they began to interact with other groups outside of school. I couldn’t do this. I would hang out with them after school and I’d isolate myself. Unless someone talked to me first, I wouldn’t be able to engage with other boys at all. I would just go home and deal with the stress of it by jerking off and playing video games.

This anxiety followed me my entire life until around 26 when I quit masturbating.

Absolving myself of that anxiety is the main reason I do nofap.

Energy

I stopped feeling lethargic all the time. My entire life I woke up as late as possible. Hitting the snooze button again and again until the last minute. Drag myself through work or school doing as little as possible. My backpack and my room and my desk, a cluttered mess of garbage. Then I’d get home, jerk off as soon I opened my door and play video games until I fell asleep. There were a few periods of desperation where I broke that habit in order to survive. Once when I was homeless. The other when I was working at Dunkin’ Donuts. Once I regained a sense of stability, the old habits would dominate me.

I wanted very badly to do other things. I wanted to be liked by my friends. To find a girlfriend. To learn cool skills like Japanese or drumming or polishing my programming skills. But when I’d get home at the end of the day, and shut my door behind me, the only thing I could do was take off my pants as soon as I could. After nutting, I just could not muster the energy to start a difficult new hobby over getting high, eating ice cream and playing League of Legends.

Even after I saved thousands of dollars to go to learn Japanese in language school, I still couldn’t study. I bought books and watched guides. But when I sat down at my desk and opened the pages, I felt nothing. I couldn’t focus for even a few minutes. My mind would constantly be thinking about pulling up porn. It wouldn’t be longer than 10 minutes before my underpants were around my ankles. Did it get better when I was finally in Japan actually studying? Absolutely not. It was 100x worse. Even under the enormous pressure from competition with peers and slipping grades, I could not accomplish a single thing. I entered the deepest depression of my life.

That would be were the story ends really. If I kept going home, cumming twice a day morning and night, drinking my anxiety away. I know exactly were I would of ended. In a puddle of guts at the bottom of a 10 story building.

Instead I tried to do something different. I stopped jerking off.

The effects were immediate. I became almost uncontrollably horny but also, I became awake. I could focus on something without feeling that death-like brain fog. I started studying things for the first time in my life. Actually going home and opening books and learning stuff. This wasn’t for school either. I was going home on my own and learning things. I picked up programming again. Made websites and apps. Studied Japanese at home by myself for thousands of hours until I could speak and read fluently. I started lifting weights. Quit smoking and then drinking.

Today, I wake every day at 5am on the dot and start practicing one of my hobbies. I started organizing my life and seeing my plans slowly come to fruition brings so so much more happiness than getting a mount in World of Warcraft ever did. I quit drinking coffee (switched to green tea) and I feel more energetic than I’ve felt my entire life. I work from 5am til late at night and I come home and lift weights for an hour. And every time in the last few years that I have jerked off a lot (or drank), I felt like shit for days afterward.

Lethargy

If I have orgasms on consecutive days I will feel lethargic for the next two or three days. So if I have sex on Monday and jerk off on Tuesday, I will feel lethargic, tired, sleepy, lazy, etc starting from that second orgasm for two or three days. It’s not an exact science. One orgasm every three days seems to be the limit if you want to avoid lethargy (otherwise known as brain fog). Taking a 14mg zinc supplement really reduces the lethargy for me. After three days of abstinence, the zinc supplement seems to have zero effect.

Side Note: Doing zero exercise for 4-5 days also creates this lethargy.

The Chaser Effect

Following an orgasm, the next day or two are greeted by a phenomenon I’ve heard called “the chaser effect”. During this time, I will feel extremely horny. I can’t describe it any better than simple I feel a heavy urge to orgasm. This always dissipates after three days.

Testicle Throbbing

Accompanying this horniness is testicle throbbing. I’ve never heard another male describe this sensation so it might just be me. At some point during a span without orgasm, my testicles will begin this constant pleasurable ache. The pleasure comes directly from the testicles and its almost enough to give me an erection on its own. I believe that most men never feel this sensation because it normally only occurs after 7 days of abstinence. This sensation is also completely random. I’ve abstained for up to a month at a time without feeling it. Sometimes its every day all day. I once went so long without the testicle throbbing sensation that I thought it would never return.

This throbbing sensation can last for hours. Getting an erection and masturbating for any period of time also completely eliminates it, normally for a good few hours. Even just getting an erection and masturbating for one minute will completely alleviate the throbbing.

Flatline

I’ve had periods of complete void of sexual desire, despite abstaining for long long periods of time. Most of the time that void (or flatline as otherwise referred to) lasts about a week (or sometimes until you jerk off again). I’ve had it last several months. No testicle throbbing. No lust. No desire to procreate.

It’s worth mentioning that I don’t really feel depressed or sad during flatline (although I have in the past). I don’t even feel unsexual. I can have sex with my wife and still be attracted to her. I just don’t feel the way I normally do when abstaining.

Premature Ejaculation

When I was young I literally would ejaculate after touching my penis on a vagina. I had an extremely bad case of premature ejaculation syndrome until I stopped masturbating.

The less I masturbate, the longer I last in bed. I cured it over 10 years by delaying orgasms while masturbating.

Day Seven

https://sci-hub.se/downloads/2019-01-29//e7/jiang2003.pdf

I’ve been learning about nofap for over ten years and at this point in my life I always abstain over a week. At that point my wife or I will normally initiate sex. I’ve experienced the weekly male hormone loop countless times. It’s basically the exact same thing every time. At around day six or seven, your horniness goes through the roof. It’s like nothing else. You feel like a horse chomping at the bit. It has died down a lot as I’ve gotten older, but it’s still there. This is the day most streaks end because it’s so difficult to stop yourself from cumming when you’re alone in your house with all the triggers and shit you use to get off. It took me years to get over this hump and only by edging (masturbating close to orgasm for extended periods of time) often for hours. A practice I believe is much more harmful than just watching porn and masturbating. The day seven effect is very real for me. Testicle throbbing and deep sexual fantasies consume the entire day.

What is not mentioned by the study however is what happens after day seven. To my deep frustration, day seven isn’t just some spike of testosterone that makes you feel horny. After years of practice, day seven has become that day that the abstinence streak truly begins. Starting from that day on, you will be thrown into “horniness cycles” every few hours. Every few hours I will get the testicle throbbing sensation and extreme lust over and over again. Just like a miniature day seven. It waxes and wanes throughout the day, getting more and more intense the longer you abstain.

I’ve broken streaks after the seven day mark many times and the cycle is always the same. Go back to the day one feeling. Slight chaser effect. Energy spike at day three. Lust spike at day seven, escalating until you give in. At this point in my life I hate orgasms because the feeling of virility and masculine energy you get after abstaining is intoxicating and wonderful and so much better than a 15 second orgasm. It really is like comparing 15 seconds of pleasure to days and weeks of bliss. If only it didn’t come along with deep lust. Something I’m learning about how to get rid of. Better to say, how to transfer the energy from obsessing over sex to something else.

Male Ovulation (or The Sparkles)

The last and most dubious and mysterious phenomenon is what I call “The Sparkles”. I think it’s male ovulation. I’m not a woman and I don’t know what ovulation feels like exactly. From what I’ve heard it described as, I have experienced something similar. There is the day seven spike that makes you feel hornier than normal. But there is this completely unattached cycle that’s even more powerful. I believe this effects all men, but it’s almost undetectable because if you masturbate regularly this “ovulation day” would just feel like your horny and then it would be gone as soon as you came.

Basically it’s being on cloud nine. Complete euphoria and elation. It feels like how Felix Felicis was described in Harry Potter 5. Everything goes your way. I could talk to anyone. Do anything. Feel nothing but joy. Completely invincible. I call it the sparkles because I always feel little pleasant jolts of electricity in my head during this phase. A tingling. I’ve only experienced this a few times in my life and I remember each time very well. The first experience was the first time I went 5 days without orgasm. At that time I had extremely high levels of social anxiety and walking down the street was a very stressful daily chore. I could not make eye contact with people and I was always very self conscious about how I looked. After trying for years abstain for long periods, one day it clicked. I walked down the street and I felt… pure peace. Everything in the world seemed bright and good. It’s very hard to describe the feeling. High on life? Zen? I felt literally high. My head was swimmy and sparkly. I felt zero anxiety for the first time in my adult life. That feeling is also accompanied with extreme horniness. I almost never can’t resist the urge masturbate after experiencing it.

I’ve gone through the day seven spike many times. I know what that kind of horniness feels like very well. This other thing happens completely independently from that. It can happen at anytime. It last about a day and basically is impossible to control. Absolutely complete lust. During this period I will literally be partially erect the entire time. My head will be swimmy and I’ll feel lightheaded. I’m basically salivating for sex. Even the slightest gesture, a flip of hair or posture becomes an unforgettable memory. I see women in a completely different way during this period.

In Conclusion

If you’re addicted to masturbation and suffering from social anxiety, maybe this write up will give someone some good ideas.